A thought

Sometimes I catch myself thinking: What exactly am I doing here right now? Why, at all, am I here? I wanted it, of course. But why did I want it?

I smile to myself. Two years ago I wouldn't have even thought about going to the other side of Europe by myself just to... just to be there. It was totally unimaginable for me.

It's incredible how much depended on coincidence. It's practically impossible to comprehend. Why did I start to learn Portuguese, anyway? Because then I didn't find a course of Greek near my place (and what if? Would I be sitting now on a bench in Thessaloniki with a dictionary and a book in Greek?). That's exactly why! And all the things that have been happening here in Lisbon... some of them emerged just because... because of one and funnily simple conversation I once had in Poland... or even just because of one, quick, seemingly unimportant and simple thought. THOUGHT, my God! It's almost scary how much our life depends on coincidence. How little is needed to meet a person, to make a decision, to take an action...

Many things are changing now. I have to bid farewell to certain people, while I'm welcoming others into my life, not knowing how much time they will spend with me. And in fact - not knowing anything. I have to say goodbye to emotions, to some memories and places... It all seems a bit sad when you think of it but essentially it is not - it's a completely normal course of events.

Because everything changes. Constantly. There is nothing certain, nothing that would last forever. The fact that I did't get used to it yet is another thing.